and started the tripometer @ 0 miles.
I went down to the Harley store and worked out a different helmet at the last minute. Imade it out of there before noon, but not before having a conversation with a guy on the bench outside who thought I should know that Arizona likes to pummel it’s drivers with golf ball sized hail during this time of year. He also told me that if I should find myself in such a situation I ought to find myself a good woman and “hole up in a hotel for a few days.”

Biker wisdom.

Did you know that the land between Los Angeles and Phonix is privately owned by the prince of darkness? He vacations there in August when free spirited young people find themselves trying to make it across the strip without contracting the skin cancer. Skin cancer, though, is Lucifer’s favorite “just because” gift.

I decided I hate this desert and milled over the decision while decrepitly eating ice cream at the McDonalds in Blythe (which when said aloud makes the same sound as your dying soul as it escapes your parched throat). While I did this one customer discovered another customer was from Alabama– the state right next to his! As it turns out, only their states dip their ice cream cones in chocolate. However, the west coast according to the louder of the two just isn’t civilized.

I disagree. I think it’s simply the Devil’s personalized attack strategy manifesting itself.

Anyway, it got worse as I was in the final stretch of the drive. In the distance I saw the rain clouds forming and I began to fear the worst– I had no woman, what if the hale turned up? Well, thankfully my trip wasn’t ruined in it’s first day and somehow the rain/razor ice stayed on one side of the road while a dust storm cleaned up the second, but neither crossed the road too much while I passed through.

I finally made it to Phoenix, which has very nice highways, and then to Katie’s place where she nursed me back to health with a combination of 8 glasses of ice cold water, a swimming pool, and a puppy who loves me. Oh, and amazing Mexican food both that night and the next morning. Obviously, a true friend.

Day One was a giant success.

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